By Jim Kellner, Certified Hypnotherapist
I can still remember that day, over 20 years ago that I decided to change my life. I’d gotten up at 6:30 am and was out for a jog.
I couldn’t believe it – I was actually doing it! I’d been trying to get myself to exercise consistently for years. A morning run was my goal. And there I was, running.
It was tough and I didn’t jog very fast but damn I was proud of myself and it actually felt good. It was great being up early too – I’d been wanting to get up earlier for years too. I wasn’t a morning person. It was sunny and there weren’t many people out and about yet. What a feeling!
I told myself right then and there that this was going to be a new routine for me. Finally, I was staying true to myself. I wasn’t sure what was different this time or how I’d finally been successful, but there I was – doing it!
I’d often fallen asleep telling myself I was going to get up for a run in the morning, only to repeatedly hit ‘snooze’.I spent most mornings jumping from bed at the last possible moment to run out the door. I was always running late. It was stressful. Very stressful.
This was a big step because I’d wanted to get in shape and take some weight off. I didn’t feel great about myself for a lot of reasons and the extra weight was just another hit to my already dismal self-esteem.
As I finished up the run I remember telling myself ‘I can’t wait to do this again tomorrow’.
I even did some meal prep when I’d gotten home – cooked up some pasta and vegetables for lunch – no meat and low fat. Oatmeal for breakfast.
At that point, I’d not heard of keto or the term ‘low-carb’. Interestingly though I had gone to a diet doctor who’d recommended tossing out all bread, pasta, and sugar.
I silently scoffed at him – everyone knew grains were healthy and it was the fat that made people fat. ‘Jeeze, what a crackpot‘, I thought. I’d also gotten a similar recommendation from a hypnotherapist I’d gone to around that time too.
They were ahead of their time. The hypnotherapy didn’t do much that time around – it was only one session with no follow-up. It’s tough to undo lifelong poor eating habits with a one-hour session. I eventually learned that it was the continued hypnotherapy, multiple sessions that finally created real breakthroughs. It’s kind of like going to the gym one time and expecting to get in shape immediately. Hypnosis typically works quicker than many other modalities, but it’s not magic.
I remember telling my mom and some people at work about my morning triumph. Finally, I was ‘that’ guy. That fit, healthy guy. Or at least I was on the right track. That night before falling asleep, I smiled to myself thinking ‘I can’t wait to get up and go again tomorrow!’.
The very next morning my alarm went off again at 6:30 and I immediately… hit snooze. ’10 more minutes and I’ll go’, I reasoned. I didn’t. Nor did I go the next day, or the next. I don’t think I tried again for several years. But I did have many similar experiences over the years. Committed to change, but not having the discipline or willpower to do it.
In the following years, I was writing down some goals one time, when I thought to myself, ‘Why bother, you’re not gonna do anyway. You never do’. I admit I even shed a tear or two lamenting my powerlessness in creating the change I wanted and needed. One more reason to hate myself. Another hit to my already dismal self-esteem.
A quarter of a century later I’m doing a coaching call with a hypnotherapy client. He’d been an athlete in college but had somehow gotten off track. He’d gained a bunch of weight and couldn’t seem to get himself to exercise or even play his sport of choice very often.
We were two sessions into his program and doing a progress check. I do a check in/coaching client with clients between their hypnotherapy appointments.
I act as an accountability coach on these meetings and brainstorm conscious mind solutions to challenges. I’ll often do some Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) techniques too (mental exercises).
Addressing the conscious and the other-than-conscious mind delivers faster, more effective results than only one or the other.
He was making steady progress, eating better*, exercising, and even taking action towards launching an online business.
As we discussed his progress and planned our next hypnosis session he suddenly said, ‘I finally trust myself. I feel like I can accomplish what I want to accomplish.’ I replied, ‘I understand’ because I did.
It took me a long time but I too had finally gotten to the place where I could trust myself. The place where I could believe in myself. It took a long time and a lot of work. And I wish I’d learned earlier how to effectively use hypnosis and other mental tools. Being able to trust and believe in oneself is an incredible boost for a person’s self-esteem. And good self-esteem boosts one’s ability to trust and believe in themselves. It’s a circular pattern each one helping the other.
I witness transformations like his on a regular basis and have grown to expect it. It’s such a rewarding feeling to help someone transform their lives in the ways that they want to. Stories like this clients were where I discovered the slogan for my company, ‘Your Success Is My Success‘. Only when my clients are successful, can I be successful.
I know it can be difficult to keep trying when you’ve lost faith in yourself. Believe me, I know. I spent decades trying and failing. I’ve had clients come to me saying, ‘Jim, you’re my last hope’. And I’ve watched them overcome the challenges that had held them back.
If you study successful people today and throughout history, they all have their stories of failures.
There is a Japanese proverb, ‘Fall down seven times get up eight.’
I got into doing hypnotherapy professionally because I used it myself to lose over 70 lbs. I started eating better, exercising, and working in a career that I truly love and had wanted to do for decades.
I learned to believe in myself and I know that you could too. No matter how many times you’ve failed, you can be successful. Want to quit smoking? Have better relationships? Lose weight – keto style or not? You can do it! Please, keep trying. I believe in you.
Three action steps to help you start to believe in yourself today;
Work on boosting your self-esteem. I’ve created several videos with a number of great tips to help. You can find the playlist by tapping HERE.
Set small, very small goals and accomplish them. For instance, I started exercising by committing to a daily 5-minute walk. Each time I did it I felt better about myself and started believing more in myself.
Start noticing all of the things that you DO accomplish. We tend to focus on what we didn’t do – didn’t exercise, didn’t eat right, didn’t call that friend, didn’t … Focus on what you DID do – went to work, cooked dinner for the family, paid the bills on time, etc. I know you’ll find you are far more successful at accomplishing things than you give yourself credit for.
*He, (my client) wasn’t eating a Keto Diet, just more fruits, vegetables, and protein and less junk food. Many people think that because I talk a lot about the ketogenic lifestyle that I’ll try to steer them to it.
I never prescribe any certain eating plan. Keto is just what works for me. I do find that it works very well for some clients especially those with certain medical conditions like diabetes, pcos. But I am happy to help clients adhere to whatever eating plan they want to. Some are even able to continue eating foods like pizza and ice cream. They just eat less of it and lose weight.